Stephen Colbert

I'm not just a pundit - I'm a comedian.

I'm very comfortable with uncomfortable situations, and I think that can seem odd to people, that I like the thrill of discomfort.

I not only loved studying theater, I loved being a theater major. It gave me an excuse to brood, to grow a beard, to wear black 'at' people. I didn't just want to play Hamlet, I wanted to be Hamlet.

I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host.

I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

I love being onstage. I love the relationship with the audience. I love the letting go, the sense of discovery, the improvising.

Make no mistake: I love women. I'm married to one, I was birthed by one, and I played one in my high school production of 'Romeo and Juliet.' No one else could fit into the bodice.

If you love friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community. If you love money, you will serve your money. And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.

I do love my country. I don't think I'm particularly a good American. I don't know what makes a good American. Other than somebody who - I like people who let other people alone. I think that's a pretty good American. And I keep my hands to myself. So I'm an OK American.