P. J. O'Rourke

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.

Raining on parades requires no skill or effort on the part of a politician.

I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning.

If ever there were a place where people not only tend not to face economic facts, but it's almost their purpose not to face economic facts, it's Washington.

Love can never be fully explained.

Infant mortality and life expectancy are reasonable indicators of general well-being in a society.

My life would have gone along perfectly well, politically speaking, if it hadn't been for girls.

Soccer matches should be something special, something people eagerly look forward to, something that brightens life.

A deadly sins addendum is long overdue. Life has changed since Pope Gregory the Great scribbled his initial list in the sixth century.

Conservatives really don't believe in politics as the primary instrument of getting along in life and therefore don't tend to put their energy into it a way people left of center do.

It's hard to be serious in life.

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.