Mark Twain

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.

Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: 'Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.'

It put our energies to sleep and made visionaries of us - dreamers and indolent... It is good to begin life poor; it is good to begin life rich - these are wholesome; but to begin it prospectively rich! The man who has not experienced it cannot imagine the curse of it.

What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.