Lewis Black

Usually I'm too tired to apologize.

Democrats should be focused on which way we can help the most people in this country, and Republicans should be focused on how to do that in the most fiscally responsible manner possible.

I am angry that the Democrats don't have the ability to explain to Republicans that we should be able to feed people in this country, and that is not socialism.

People would be a lot better off if they'd enjoy being single.

Being a playwright is like the equivalent of doing a jigsaw puzzle that has 1,500 pieces, and it's a jigsaw of a blue sky. Not a cloud in sight.

I'm a happy person but an angry citizen.

You got to be just stupid to not be focused on alternative energy.

I'm constantly in fear of having a stroke.

Do you know what 'meteorologist' means in English? It means liar.

As psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic.

I'm amazed that anyone is interested in what I have to say.

I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not.