John Waters

My biggest fear in life is living Nativity scenes. I hide in cars and drive around looking at them. Something about it is really scary to me. What parent would put their child in there with mules and camels and straw?

Who have I been starstruck by in real life? One of the weirdest ones was, when we were making 'Cry-Baby,' David Nelson from 'The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet.' I couldn't believe he was sitting in my living room. Certainly Patricia Hearst. Tab Hunter. A lot of the stars I've worked with, when I first got them.

I was creating characters early. People didn't beat me up. I scared them. I hated authority. I could also get people to do things; I was quite the early director. I could make people laugh enough to get their defences down - and then brainwash them.

Fellini was a little lofty for a teenage boy, but certainly he was a huge influence.

In any film business, if you're trying to get your next film made, you would never say, 'Oh, my last film was a cult film.' I'd say, 'Oh, great, well I hope this one isn't!' I always say to Johnny Knoxville, 'How do you do it? You sort of do the same thing we did, except you made millions, and I made hundreds.'

The good guys in my movies mind their own business, and they don't judge other people. And the bad guys are jealous; they judge other people without knowing the whole story. They want all the attention, and they're mean spirited.

I don't like rules of any kind. And I seek people who break rules with happiness - and not bringing pain to themselves.

I can make a movie for $5M, which used to be a routinely low, independent movie, but there's no such thing as that any more.

I don't trust anyone that hasn't been to jail at least once in their life. You should have been, or something's the matter with you.

My dreams have come true. I mean, everything I wanted to happen as a kid has already happened.

I didn't follow anybody's advice, really.

There are schools for weird children now. There wasn't when I was young.