All Quotes

It doesn't matter if you're famous or infamous. All that matters is you're a celebrity. ”

I guess it turns out choosing your life partner from a group of men trying to get their break in show business by sitting around shirtless in a swimming pool while cameras watch around the clock isn't the path to a soulmate after all. ”

I've had two pedicures in my life, and they were glorious. ”

I'm 6-foot-4. If my life depended on it, I could still dunk a basketball. Then I would need assistance from a first responder to get down from the rim. ”

There's a lot to be said for going to baseball games for a living. ”

My dad is so unique in what he does. It's not like I'm taking a torch from him and doing his thing. I hope I've carried from him a little bit of a sense of irony, a little bit of a wink. ”

Unintentional comedy is comedy just the same. ”

Chris Rock is a very funny man. ”

You don't really have to say much when your headline is 'Drag Queen Robs Burger King.' Sometimes comedy writes itself. ”

Everyone worries about their kids, of course, but you can drive yourself nuts thinking about all the horrible things in the world - and many, many people do. I believe life is to be lived and not survived. ”