George Mikes

An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one. ”

Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars. ”

Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game. ”

In England only uneducated people show off their knowledge; nobody quotes Latin or Greek authors in the course of conversation, unless he has never read them. ”