Denis Norden

We saw more of each other than we did of our wives. We wrote everything together. But how long can you go on doing that? How long can you go on being half an entity? ”

Bob Monkhouse, Galton and Simpson, Spike Milligan and I all started around the same time with an enormous advantage: working to an audience all of whom had shared an awful, common experience - the war. ”

I have better peripheral vision in my left. It is quite hard to remain optimistic, but I have found the Macular Society, of whom I've been an enthusiastic supporter for nine years, tremendously helpful in providing support. ”

I used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny. ”

The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and would use that money to pay the writers. None of them paid very much for their comedy material, but it all added up. ”

Almost all comedy is of its time. You can't expect audiences now to laugh at what amused people 60 years ago. ”

And if you can offer an explanation as to why it doesn't work then you've got to the whole root of comedy. ”

It's a funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan, it's when you discover that your wife left you in May. ”

And when you're on your own there is that terrifying possibility that you may be the only person on the planet who thinks it's funny - and you have no way of finding out. ”

It's like your children talking about holidays, you find they have a quite different memory of it from you. Perhaps everything is not how it is, but how it's remembered. ”