Bob Uecker

I did stand-up, weird and ignorant stuff about my career - anything for a laugh. ”

Career highlights? I had two - I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets. ”

I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture. ”

Hey, I think it's easy for guys to hit .300 and stay in the big leagues. Hit .200 and try to stick around as long as I did; I think it's a much greater accomplishment. That's hard. ”

I just grew the hair on my back. Facial hair just wasn't appealing to me. I liked it on my back, though. ”

When I looked at the third base coach, he turned his back on me. ”

After getting out of the service and going into baseball I never wanted to do anything else. ”

The biggest thrill a ballplayer can have is when your son takes after you. That happened when my Bobby was in his championship Little League game. He really showed me something. Struck out three times. Made an error that lost the game. Parents were throwing things at our car and swearing at us as we drove off. Gosh, I was proud. ”

I signed a very modest $3,000 bonus with the Braves in Milwaukee. And my old man didn't have that kinda money to put out. ”

Sure, women sportswriters look when they're in the clubhouse. Read their stories. How else do you explain a capital letter in the middle of a word? ”