Ben Elton

I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition - and I have never suffered from it. ”

We've all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that's all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it's just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother. ”

If I did things for the money, I'd have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and 'Police Academy 6,' which I was asked to write. ”

I don't consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother. ”

If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven. ”

I'm lucky because the strongest emotion I have ever felt is being in love, and that definitely informs my writing. ”

People who get through life dependent on other people's possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count. ”

There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I've made a great living doing the things I want to do. ”

Comedy will always be central to what I do, it's just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been. ”

I exercise hard and the reason I do is so that I can earn the things I like to consume. ”