Florence King

I've done pretty well as a professional fed-up. The tools of my trade so far have been irony, tongue-in-cheek mockery, and supercilious contempt, but these are highly civilized weapons designed for 18th-century French salons. ”

Women's writing was coming along fine until feminists came along and turned it into Women's Lit. ”

He travels fastest who travels alone, and that goes double for she. Real feminism is spinsterhood. ”

Let's face it: 'Threatening' people are the only interesting people around. The unthreatening are, by and large, competent mediocrities who take lemming-like aim at careers in television. ”

Democracy elevates by turning ordinary people into extraordinary ordinary people called celebrities. ”

In baseball, you can't tell the players without a scorecard, but in political commentary, you need a metaphor. ”

I believe in a Republic of Merit in which water is allowed to find its own level, where voters, like drivers, are tested before being turned loose. ”

A man should never apologize! ”

Showing up at school already able to read is like showing up at the undertaker's already embalmed: people start worrying about being put out of their jobs. ”

Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the first one in the morning, it's the best one of all. It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it. ”