Eddie Izzard

There was no religion in my life growing up. Did God invent us or did we invent God? ”

Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both... different. In spelling. ”

I don't know what it's like in the U.S. but immigrants in the U.K. do the jobs the citizens won't do. ”

I don't believe that competitions are important. ”

I'm quite good at taking in information so I voraciously inhale Wikipedia - which may have some things wrong in it, but I think is generally more information than we had before. Last tour we didn't have Wikipedia. And then Discovery Channel and History Channel. I can take it in and retain what I think are the most important facts. ”

If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay. ”

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others. ”

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup. ”

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel! ”

Comedy is a great weapon of attack. It's not a great weapon of support. ”