Dylan Moran

Some people have told me that I'm grumpy; it's not something that I'm aware of. It's not like I walk around poking children in the eye... not very small ones, anyway. ”

I wanted to show off - a simple impulse or drive; in much the same way as some kids wanted to play football, I wanted to show off. Not complicated in that sense, very natural; it just depends on how you want to show off. ”

I was lucky in the sense that I was never blessed with an overly reflective nature. ”

I'm fascinated by how you'll change your position so many times over a lifetime, but really what you're doing is occupying a series of positions on a landscape. ”

I'm just a guy who happens to work in public from time to time. I've built a reputation as an established comic, not as a celebrity - a celebrity is someone who is famous but doesn't do anything. ”

Maybe this is just me, but as time goes by, I'm more bewildered by modernity. It gets more unfathomable with every passing year. ”

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.' ”

I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself. ”

I write all the time, but you just want to be careful what you put out. That's all. You want to have the confidence that you've done what you need to do to it, because otherwise it's an exercise in vanity. ”

Yeah, I think Michael has had to deal with that label of being Michael Caine for a long time. ”