Don Rickles

Room service is great if you want to pay $500 for a club sandwich. ”

It's tough having the last name 'Rickles.' Luckily, my kids handled it great. ”

Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood. ”

I was always the guy - out of insecurities, I was always making fun, even as a kid. ”

Bob Hope was totally regimented. I go in and say a line like, 'Hi Bob' and I'd have to do it five times, and then Bob would take me to the writers to say the line different ways. He wouldn't let me ad-lib. ”

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last. ”

Many, many years ago, I stood on the stage and told bad jokes and did Sophie Tucker as an impersonation, and nobody looked up; and suddenly, I looked down and said, 'Sir, I'm getting fed up with you. Either you watch, or I'm going to suck your neck,' or words to that effect, and suddenly people started to laugh. ”

Girls were scared of me because I can be loud. Barbara, my wife of 51 years, is very low-key. She was my picture agent's secretary. ”

There's a difference between an actual insult and a friendly jab. So I don't think I'm offensive onstage. ”

I've been hot, I've been lukewarm, I've been freezing, but I've always been a headliner. ”