Dick Van Dyke

I found out retirement means playing golf, or I don't know what the hell it means. But to me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing. ”

I'm always announcing my retirement. I'm still not retired. ”

Pandering to the scandal hungry public is a total lack of responsible journalism. ”

As for my studies in school, I was a solid student. I was strong in English and Latin, but I got lost anytime the subject included math. I wish I had paid more attention to biology and science in general, subjects that came to interest me as an adult. I could have gotten better marks, but I never took a book home, never did homework. ”

I've retired so many times now it's getting to be a habit. ”

When I was a kid, I loved all the silent comedians - Buster Keaton, Laurel and Hardy, Chaplin. And I used to imitate them. I'd go to see a Buster Keaton movie and come home and try things out I'd seen. I learned to do pratfalls when I was very young. ”

I get little kids who recognize me from 'Mary Poppins,' and it just delights me because it's our third generation. ”

I was lucky to get the kinds of parts I wanted. I always said I didn't want to do anything my kids can't see. ”

When I started having kids, I thought, 'I don't want to do anything they can't watch.' ”

I have four kids, seven grandkids, and four great-grandkids. Maybe I can become a great-great-grandfather if I hang on! ”