Deborah Mailman

I was big as a kid, very overweight. That caused a lot of insecurities for me growing up, and on top of that, I didn't like the idea of big crowds. I found it quite frightening. I enjoy the company of people who I know, and I'm probably still like that today. ”

My school friends thought I was outgoing and bubbly, but that masked a lot of insecurities, and maybe that's the reason I chose drama - to build a bit of self-confidence. I had a great teacher, and I won a few speech and drama competitions and just fell in love with it. ”

I grew up with horses and cattle, running around on dirt hills with this real sense of space. We didn't have neighbours - well, the nearest ones were kilometres away. ”

Behind my door at home, that's when I'm relaxed, and that's when I can allow the emotions or whatever - to feel just what I want to feel - so a lot of people don't know me in that respect. I need a bit of space, a bit of a place to come home to and not have to pretend or perform anymore, where I'm just myself. ”

I guess there's this mind shift that happens once you're on stage. I don't know, chemicals, something happens and you just... I just become completely in control of where I am. And it's all about trusting the people that you're on the stage with, listening... and it just falls into place really easily. ”

I have worked with a lot of really great women directors: Ana Kokkinos; Cate Shortland, who just recently directed a film called 'Lore;' another director, Rachel Perkins - she's an Aboriginal director, and I've worked with her three times now, and she gave me my first film role, actually, back in 1997. ”

Dad passed away in 2000, but he visits me all the time. He comes to me in different ways. So I have that connection with him, and that comforts me, to know that in time I can come back and still have that with my kids. It's not unfamiliar to me, that connection with the afterlife. I know it's real; I experience it all the time. ”

If there's one thing I could wish for right now, it would be to have one of those horses from the merry-go-round - they were the most exciting thing to go on as a kid. ”

I never get used to the red carpets and premieres, to be honest, but when you're walking down the red carpet promoting stories such as 'Mabo,' it means everything to me. ”

I like solitude. I'm very good at being disconnected. I do a lot of disappearing. People who know me go, 'Oh yeah, Mailman, she's gone into her cave again.' I'm like that, a bit of a hibernating bear. Like that crocodile that just sits there in the water and doesn't do much. I was always a bit of a dreamer as a kid, so that hasn't changed. ”