Daniel Mallory Ortberg

One of the things that would be great is to some day have so many women comedy writers that we wouldn't say there's just one type of female humor. There's lots. ”

Humor is always more interesting when it comes from someone who's had more than, like, five experiences. ”

Did you know that, pound for pound, the moose is the leanest ruminant on Earth? It's true. Moose are very in tune with their natural surroundings. ”

I have a lot of faith in the power of joking to make something thoughtful. ”

I love reading religious authors. Especially in the sort of circle I move in, people tend to be more secular, and I love reading books by just really smart people of religious faith. It's always a really cool perspective. ”

I attended an evangelical Christian university on the outskirts of suburban Los Angeles and by the time of my graduation was neither evangelical nor Christian. ”

I have fun going on Twitter and the Internet. I feel safe and comfortable, and I wish everyone could feel that way. ”

A lot of my creative energy is spent coming up with a concept that, once I get it, I feel like it writes itself. ”

Anything where I get to write a lot of jokes and have a lot of creative control - that's all I want. ”

The most successful Subway customers, of course, are the ones who can't keep their hands off their sandwich. Join your artist in the sandwich assembling process. That sneeze guard is a suggestion. That sneeze guard is trying to intimidate you into staying on the customer's side of the partition. ”