Craig Brown

Children are perfectly happy to sit next to spiders; it is only grown-ups who are frightened away. ”

Alan Whicker may be the last Briton to have worn a silver-buttoned blazer with complete confidence. ”

Like Christians, Soccerians argue that you should not judge the essence of their faith by the loopy activities of its followers. But the Beautiful Game is in fact quite the opposite. It is badly designed and riddled with flaws. ”

There's nothing wrong with procrastination. Or is there? I'll leave it to you to decide, but only if you have the time. ”

Many people see the chance to eat something for nothing, without the need to cook or wash up, as the great consolation of going out to dinner. But they forget quite how difficult it is to talk to a stranger and eat at the same time. ”

Personally, I belong to the speedy school of golf. If it were left up to me, I would introduce a new rule that said every golf ball has to stay in motion from the moment it leaves the tee to the moment it plops into the hole, thus obliging each player to run along after his ball and give it another whack before it stops rolling. ”

By and large, the artistic establishment disapproved of Margaret Thatcher. ”