Chris Rock

Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life. ”

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. ”

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity. ”

Does having a wife and kids change your act? Yes, but only in the best way. It gives you weight and authority. It also makes you closer to the audience because the audience is married and has kids. ”

I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson. ”

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy. ”

I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking. ”

A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage. ”

When I started out in comedy, it was common knowledge that it took about 10 years to get good. And that was okay because it took you about 9 years to get on television. ”

By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer. ”