Carol Burnett

I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that. ”

I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes. ”

You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has. ”

I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh. ”

I'm so happy with what has happened in my life. ”

Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own. ”

Because nobody goes through life without a scar. ”

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. ”

But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh. ”

When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go. ”