Bruce Eric Kaplan

What I like about graduation speeches is that they're an opportunity for someone to make sense of their life and to impart that wisdom to someone else. It's like a sanctioned self-help moment. ”

We are all just little dolls of ourselves. Who occasionally pull back the curtains to reveal the real us. ”

In L.A., you can put out a craft-service table anywhere, and it's no big deal. But in New York, people who walk by it on the street get really angry about it. ”

I always doodled as a kid while I was talking on the phone or watching TV. ”

When I was a kid, and I was watching TV, I just loved it so much that I wanted to crawl into that TV. ”

Actually, I think that 'Seinfeld' tackles the same kinds of issues as 'Six Feet Under,' just in a different way. ”

I thought about trying to do a strip. I even tried to do it, but I felt I didn't have the voice. Even though I liked that form, I didn't think I thought in the form of the three panels. ”

One identity is as a television writer, which is very classically Southern California, but another of my personae is as a New Yorker cartoonist. ”

I've had mostly book parties, where I get very focused on inviting everyone and not forgetting anyone, although of course one always does, and being worried no one will show up, but mostly the book comes from going to parties and feeling very, for lack of a better word, anxious. ”

I go through my day remembering things like telephone cords. ”