Bob Newhart

I remember seeing a movie with Jose Ferrer and Rosemary Clooney where they were husband and wife, and they got in bed, and he had on polka-dot pajamas and she had on striped pajamas, and when they got up the next morning he had on the striped pajamas and she had the polka dot pajamas, and that was considered racy at that time! ”

I've had time off, and it drove me nuts. I was crawling up the wall. ”

I don't think too much about age. Maybe if you're hurting, aching and arthritic, then you think about it a lot. But I don't. ”

Don't be silly and don't waste your time. ”

The first time I got up in front of an audience was terror, abject terror, which continued for another four or five years. There still is, a little bit. ”

One time I happened to use the word 'denigrate' onstage, and it didn't get any reaction. So as I continued my act, the left side of my brain was fast-forwarding to see if I had any other big words coming up. ”

I am one of the great wasters of time. I have made it an art form. I can get up at 8 o'clock in the morning, be out of the house by 8:30 and back by 5 P.M., and I'll be going all day long and accomplish absolutely nothing. It's an amazing talent. ”

I know Chuck Lorre personally, and am familiar with his work going back to 'Roseanne' and 'Cybil.' ”

You may have done 20 great shows in a row and come to one, and it doesn't work. You never presume anything. ”

I found the most difficult thing when you became successful - when I had the record album, it won Album of the Year - that you were cut off from the source of your material. Your material was everyday people, and you were kind of cut off from that, and you had to work at it. ”