Ben Stein

When I seemed to be irritable or sad, my father would quote the learned Dr. Knight, and then say, 'Just go to sleep.' Like all smart aleck kids, I thought the advice was silly. But as I've grown older, I've realized just how smart Knight was. ”

I do all of the grocery shopping in my little family. I buy cheese, of many different kinds, sliced packaged meats and poultry, bagels, immense quantities of eggs, pre-made fried chicken. Milk. Bacon. It is insane how much dairy, deli and bakery stuff I buy. ”

Screaming at children over their grades, especially to the point of the child's tears, is child abuse, pure and simple. It's not funny and it's not good parenting. It is a crushing, scarring, disastrous experience for the child. It isn't the least bit funny. ”

When Hollywood sees a good story about a man who sells confidence, they see themselves and they like it. ”

Faith is not believing that God can. It is knowing that God will. ”

Greed is a basic part of animal nature. Being against it is like being against breathing or eating. It means nothing. ”

I am about to vote. I am about to do something that human beings are rarely allowed to do. I am doing something that did not exist until America. ”

The human spirit needs to accomplish, to achieve, to triumph to be happy. ”

I think it's criminal how little people in the military are paid. These are people out risking their lives, taken away from their families for long periods of time. I think they should be paid dramatically more than they're paid. ”

I spend so much time in fear of going broke, and I never have been even remotely close to going broke. ”