Alfred Hitchcock

Television is like the invention of indoor plumbing. It didn't change people's habits. It just kept them inside the house.

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.

Someone once told me that every minute a murder occurs, so I don't want to waste your time, I know you want to go back to work.