Don Herold

There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.

The beggar is the only person in the universe not obliged to study appearance.

Don't ever slam a door, you might want to go back.

It takes a lot of things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant.

Golf may be a hussy, but I love her.

It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.

If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.

Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.