Melody Beattie

It's hard to give up the self-esteem connected to being codependent and appearing 'right,' which is probably a survival behavior learned from growing up in a crazy family. It feels like you will actually disappear.

Guilt can prevent us from setting the boundaries that would be in our best interests, and in other people's best interests.

The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.

Much of the time, the things we feel guilty about are not our issues. Another person behaves inappropriately or in some way violates our boundaries. We challenge the behavior, and the person gets angry and defensive. Then we feel guilty.

Few things can frustrate us more than trying to make a person someone he or she isn't; we feel crazy when we try to pretend that person is someone he or she is not.

Relationships are where we take our recovery on the road.

I used to be afraid of pain, didn't take a lot of risks, especially in love. I'm not as afraid anymore. I'm more spontaneous, more likely to say what I think.

There are almost as many definitions of co-dependency as there are experiences that represent it.

What do you do when life blindfolds you and spins you around? We think it's our fault, that we're to blame, when really we should be focused on being gentle with ourselves.

I gave three years of my life to take care of my dying mother who had Alzheimer's disease. Being there for her every need for three years might have looked codependent but it wasn't because it was what I wanted to do.

Live your life fom your heart. Share from your heart. And your story will touch and heal people's souls.

Make New Year's goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you're interested in fully living life in the year to come.