Mark Twain

When in doubt, tell the truth.

Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.

George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

All right, then, I'll go to hell.